Eureka, I have found a cure for Socialism.

If it was left to its own devices, a tortoise would live forever. It lives in a tough shell which pretty much makes it impossible to eat and its slow speed makes it unemployable, so there is no chance of it becoming sick from work related stress. However nature has decided that its lifespan depends on its access to water and food.

Socialism is different. Left to its own devices, it pretty much kills itself. I will overlook the fact that after the most violent war in history, the Labour party won the 1945 general election, established a healthcare system that was free to everyone and somehow managed to lose the following election. But look at more modern examples. In the manifesto that won the election for New Labour in 1997 was the promise that Scotland and Wales (but not England) would have their own parliaments with devolution, with the purpose of gaining more hearts in Labour’s heartland. The result of this was that Scotland and Wales have become more hungry for independence and the local parties of Plaid Cymru and the SNP have started to threaten Labour in these heartlands. It is a bit like removing a muzzle from a hungry lion.

Then you have Gordon Brown, who got the nation on the edges of their seats for a general election and then suddenly called it off once he heard that he was behind in the opinion polls. If he told the truth and said that he had called it off because of the polls, he would appear as a power mad coward who told the truth, but he said it was nothing to do with the polls and he was thus seen as a power mad coward who also lied. I have yet to meet someone who believed him.

I could go on at the Labour Party and mention all the sleaze, spin and the amazing government databases which help us sleep better at night and protects us from terrorists, criminals and our own biological DNA. But my main point is that I believe that Socialism in Britain itself is flawed. It is meant to be a public ownership and anti-establishment ideology, which also believes in a equal society with no class, yet we have politicians like Tony McNulty and ‘Two Jags Prescott’ who have become the establishment and live upper-middle class lifestyles on taxpayer’s money. We also have millionaire businessmen of private companies who support the Labour government and who may give it more funding then the trade unions.

True Socialism (which is completely flawed) helped to cause the Labour Party to lose the 1949 general election, kept them out of power for most of the latter part of the 20th Century and is, alas, starting to creep back in with the nationalisation of the banks. It kills itself because it does want I believe most people in this country don’t want. This includes taxing people too much, spending too much, wasting too much and creating a government which is as big as Sauroposeidon’s shoe size. The reason why Tony Blair came to power was because he moved his party to the right of Old Labour and more towards the Conservatives, which has been in power a lot this century. So I hope that it continues to shoot itself in the foot and that we have a Conservative government after the next election, like in 1949. So my cure for Socialism is…become a Conservative.

"Without calculation, economic activity is impossible. Since under Socialism economic calculation is impossible, under Socialism there can be no economic activity in our sense of the word ... All economic change, therefore, would involve operations the value of which could neither be predicted beforehand nor ascertained after they had taken place. Everything would be a leap in the dark. Socialism is the renunciation of rational economy." -- Ludwig von Mises, Socialism, 1981, pp. 103-105.